What are you doing about your self care?

Self care is a hot topic right now and rightly so. After the last 18 months we've had, we really need to up our game when it comes to taking care of ourselves. I love the quote "You can't pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first". But what does it mean? If you're on any kind of social media, you will have seen the memes that tell you to buy the shoes, eat the cake, take the trip. You only have one life and you wouldn't want to miss out. Buying that thing will definitely make you feel better about yourself, right? It might, for a little while, but those feelings won't last long. What if eating the cake, buying the shoes or taking that trip go against your personal values or the goals you've set for yourself. You'll be setting yourself up for some major internal conflict.

So how can you manage your self care without succumbing to advertising and wanting a quick fix? Take a look at what's important to you in you life. Sit down with a journal and write a handy dandy list. You might include physical, emotional, social, spiritual, personal, space, and financial, amongst others. Under those headings write down things you feel are lacking or are important to maintain. Under physical you might have regular exercise, healthy eating, reconnect with nature. For emotional, it might be mental health (who doesn't need to work on that right now?), improved relationships with family, friends and co-workers. Social might include getting out more and maybe joining a group. For spiritual you might have faith, mindfulness, meditation, time alone. Personal might be about developing boundaries or making time for hobbies. Under space you might have safety, stability and declutter. For financial you might want to set a budget and some financial goals.

Wow, that's a lot to take in and could be overwhelming if you decided to take it all on at once. I suggest choosing 3 things to work on. Just 3. If you have a lot of free time and are highly motivated, you might choose more but take care not to take on too much. So now you have 3 aspects of your life that are important to you that you want to improve. What next? I'll tell you what I'm working on and that might give you some ideas.

My current self care plan includes getting up a bit earlier each morning. I'm not a morning person so this is a major bummer for me, especially now the mornings are nice and cold. However, getting up earlier will relieve some stress in my life. The stress of running late in the morning. I hate feeling rushed and I feel bad about myself when I arrive late. So even though I really want to stay in bed for another 5 or 10 minutes, I'm doing something I don't want to do that results in me taking care of myself. I can arrive at my destination on time, without the stress and anxiety of rushing out the door with 1 shoe on. Also on my list is my health. Over the course of the last few years I've gained some weight (I'm calling it the divorce kilo's) and some mild health issues have become a little more menacing. So I need to get moving and start scarfing down some salads. I don't really want to but I have to to take care of myself and be able to achieve some goals that are dependant on me being fit and healthy (and alive!). Some other things that I recently found missing in my life were the opportunity to give back to society and meeting new people. So I have joined a women's organisation that makes a difference in the lives of women and girls locally and internationally. Two birds, one stone: I get to help out in my community and meet new people AND it makes me feel good about myself.

So, I guess you're thinking that sounds like a whole lot of hard work. It is. Self care isn't all sunshine, shoes and cake! But it can be fun. One of my hobbies is birdwatching. I hadn't really been participating in it recently. Mainly because it's something I used to do with my ex-husband and he got the good camera in the divorce. But it's something I really enjoy doing and it makes me feel connected to my Mum (who I lost last year) as she was a very keen birdwatcher. So, I bought a second hand camera, asked for binoculars for Christmas and discovered a friend that enjoys this same hobby. Just down the road from where I live is Hunter Wetlands, with a $20 annual fee for admissions. Double bonus: they have a cafe where my friend and I can enjoy a coffee and the occasional slice of cake after our bird watching activities.

Taking care of your self isn't selfish. Self care is the good foundation for a happy life. Have a look at your list and see where you can incorporate some fun and free activities that will help you relax and feel good about yourself. There's nothing like a dose of sunshine and fresh air to improve the mood. A quiet cup of tea, a bubble bath, time spent with family and friends: it's free, you just have to make the time to do it.

This week have a go at making your self care plan. Don't be afraid to tackle the parts that feel difficult as you will reap the rewards of your hard work in the long run. Embrace the fun side of this activity too: take that walk in the sunshine, spend time catching up with an old friend and maybe even buy that book you've been wanting to read!